This is my last night dog and house sitting. My husband has already moved back aboard while I do the finishing cleaning touches on the house. I am really looking forward to moving back on the boat. It has only been 4 weeks, but I miss our simple home; our simple life.
Nine years ago, we left our home on one acre to move into our 250 square foot, slanted-wall home. I have become painfully aware of how out-of-touch I have become with modern cleaning products. Figuring our how to operate the full-sized vacuum cleaner was hilarious – even the dog gave me a quizzical look.
But my biggest challenge by far, was the Swiffer Wet Jet. The first time I washed the floors, I got down on hands and knees like I do on the boat. I should have thought this through before attempting this on a 1500 square foot home, but I was too proud to admit that I didn’t know how to operate the Swiffer.
I am aware, thank you very much, that there have been many commercials on TV about the product, but I always tune them out because I have no where to store this thing on my boat unless the good folks at Swiffer can figure out how to collapse the handle down like a tent pole into something no higher than 12 inches.
But tonight I faced my fears – took the Swiffer out of its closet and examined it from all angles. I figured out that one button detatches the cleaning solution from the Swiffer. Oops. Another button squirts stuff. So far, so good. I am not even sure what to call this thing- is it a mop or a broom? I should have paid more attention to the commercials.
The bottom of the thing was weird, so I went looking in the closet for anything with a Swiffer logo on it. Bingo. A box of feminine pads. This was getting complicated and there were no instructions on the box. I fiddled with the strips on the bottom of the pad and tried to peel them off, but to no avail. I was really thankful that it was only me and the dog trying to figure this out.
My problem solving was severely hampered b the mental block that I was holding a maxi pad in my hand. While manipulating the Swiffer in my right hand it accidentally came close to the pad in my left hand and voila – the two stuck together. I am a genius.
I decided to start in the bathroom – a small space and if I had an accident, it was less likely that I would damage anything. As I squeezed the Swiffer beside the toilet, the little head pivoted like Karen Kain in Swan Lake. This thing is amazing! I started thinking about how this could be very useful in cleaning the bilge on the boat. Telescoping handle. Collapsible head. Oil absorbent pads. I might drop my friends at Swiffer an email.
I must say that cleaning the floors tonight was much faster than my previous hands and knees approach. Now, I am waiting for them to dry so I can go back and re-do them. Yes. Can you believe it? Apparently, one only needs to moderately squeeze the button. In my enthusiasm, I have expelled way too much cleaning solution and the house smells like a Glade plug-in and the floors are a sticky mess. The dog is not impressed and I am contemplating my next move with a glass of red wine.
You know, an old squeeze mop would do the trick. but that woman on the TV commercial has thrown it out. I guess I will get back on my hands and knees to give the floor a rinse so that it doesn’t feel like I am walking on spilt orange juice.